Today I show you the proverbial crown in my hat collection. The most epic of my hats. The Top Hat.

Isn’t it a bit awesome? A bit really awesome?

So I was in Derry one day, with about 30 minutes to kill between the bus that left me in Derry and the bus that was going to take me the rest of the way home. Made a wander over in the direction of a local fast food joint when I happened upon The Walled City Market, a local market that operates in Derry every couple of months. So I wandered around to see such delights as hand woven baskets, jewelery, fortune telling, and an entire pig on a spit.

See the end of this compelling story after the jump.

While eating my spit roasted pig sandwich I wandered past a booth. I did a double take upon seeing a straw hat for 3 Pounds. I’d always fancied a straw hat so I started to study the booth… slowly letting my eyes drift upwards past fedoras, cowboy hats, trilbies, getting more and more pleased to see all these wonderful hats at such cheap prices. Then there it was. Sat atop a mannequin head at a jaunty angle:

A top hat.

Seeing the “30 pounds” sticker on it I ran to my bank and withdrew the cash, ran back and was about to hand over the cash. I stopped. I realised that I hadn’t tried it on. A moment of sheer terror gripped me: What if my size wasn’t there? I have a big head, this was a real concern. I tried on the 60cm version and it sat right on there. Perfect.

I dashed over to the bus station, and smoked a victory cigarette in my top hat while waiting for my bus. That day, was a very good day.

The sun shone the whole bus ride home. I’ve loved my Top Hat ever since, and it’ll remain the jewel of my hat collection for quite some time. Well, until I get a taller one.